There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
