its not stalking. its research.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
