lets start a swedish sibling band together
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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