We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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