I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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