True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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