One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
