no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
