Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
