Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
