Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
