Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
