so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
