the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
