Small penises have feelings too.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
