actually, I'm a sock model
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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