please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
