Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
