how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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