Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
