"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
