Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
