Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
