Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
