I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
