I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
