btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize