You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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