So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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