Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize