Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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