I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
