thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
