I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
