there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize