she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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