okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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