There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
