My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Small penises have feelings too.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
