so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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