i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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