how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
