i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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