if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
