508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
