he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Randomize
