In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
