Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
