Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
