its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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