this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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