Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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