god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
