My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
