I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
