my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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