I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you had me at cake vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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