I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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