so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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