All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
3pm strippers are depressing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
