I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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