Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
