i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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