She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
