youre lurking in front of me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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