If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
