I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sext me about skeletons
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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