hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
