i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
