THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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