I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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