she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
